FC Barcelona is in The United States “You’re Finally Free!”

FC Barcelona in the USA - White House

The greatest soccer club in the world came to America to experiment the wonders this country has to offer. However, to their surprise they found out the hard way, why “freedom” in America is relative to who you are. 

In the midst of a history making “debt ceiling” fiasco running muck in congress, FC Barcelona toured the brilliant city of Washington. Nonetheless this great club wanted to meet the leader of the “free” world, B.O. (Barack Obama). Obviously B.O. was babysitting the overpaid brats in congress, so unfortunately Xavi and Iniesta weren’t able to shoot the shit with “El Chefe” Barack.

So what else would a bunch of soccer players do while in the USA? How about take advantage of all the free space and wonderful parks? Maybe do a kick a bout and show them “yanks” how to juggle a soccer ball? “Well shucks, that’s just what them damn dirty foreigners did!” If you can believe the best soccer club in the world, and one of the best teams in history decided to kick the ball about at a local park; a piece of open ground we pay taxes for.

While warming up, the cops showed up and told them they didn’t have a permit or authorization to play and the fun was over in a jiffy.

“C’mon guys, grown men playing soccer! They should know better than that right?”

Since my coming to this country and becoming free in 1999, I have been fined twice, and kicked off soccer fields, parks, EMPTY basketball courts in the middle of LA, EMPTY parks, EMPTY public land and so on. In many countries there isn’t all this free space like there is here in the USA. In Brazil people play in the medians of freeways or they just play in the streets. So all this open land in America makes foreigners go nuts. We just feel like running on the field and playing. We can’t help it if you American’s don’t feel the same.

FC Barcelona in the USA

FC Barcelona training in the USA & White House


American’s always use the excuse that, “all of our best athletes play other sports?” For some reason I doubt that’s the reason USA doesn’t create great players. I mean, Romario wasn’t an athlete, and neither is Messi much of an athlete either if we compare him to let's say, "Lerbon James!" However, you’re telling me because Emmitt Smith didn’t play soccer USA sucks? Let me tell you something right now, “USA doesn’t create great soccer players because it’s against the freaking law. Not only is soccer against the rule of law, but it’s also against the cultural decree. It’s culturally unacceptable to play soccer, not to mention having to pay hundreds of dollars to actually “watch” it on TV.
“Hey FC Barcelona you’re free to do whatever “they” allow you to do. In America children play soccer before they become mature enough to play tackle football, a real game. So go back to your foreign country your dirty slimy tongue twisting Catalonia foot twisters!

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Roberto Avey

Roberto Avey is an ex-soccer player from Brazil. Club, Associação Atlética Ponte Preta in Campinas, São Paulo, Brazil, 1995-1998 under coach, Francisco da Silva Júnior “Chiquinho." He has since graduated from Midwestern State University in Texas, with a bachelor degree in journalism and helps coach teams in Southern California. Read more


Kevin DeGroot

Rooney probably drove around DC in a cop car looking for barcelona to tell them they weren’t allowed to practice.

Roberto Avey

This is the story of my life since I got here to the USA, and I was amazed to see it actually happend to the BEST team in the world. USA creates good players, but imagine if it was culturally and legally open to the kids and parents? Let the people play damn it!

NBC Sports Network's awesome soccer commercial

[…] programming will incorporate all the unpopular sports in America. Unfortunately, soccer is part of NBC’s/America's “uncool” crowd. So once again we sit at the uncool table in the cafeteria, […]

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